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Post by Lord Hugo Prosperio on Jan 6, 2009 18:45:01 GMT -4
Since I don't want to interupt the flow of the journals, I want to say how much I am enjoying Claire's story. Very well done, my friend.
Also, anyone else who wishes to comment on said journals, can do so here.
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Post by tjgalon on Jan 6, 2009 20:57:13 GMT -4
Yes I felt the same way, and it also the same reason i did not post there. The flow is good and i can't wait for what comes next.
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Post by Lord Hugo Prosperio on Jan 10, 2009 23:59:28 GMT -4
The latest chapters are superb, my friend. This story is very interesting.
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Post by LOD on Jan 11, 2009 0:18:58 GMT -4
Thanks for the feedback!! ;D
I have a few more ideas in store for Claire's first night in the Transformansion that I hope you like.
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Post by illun on Jan 13, 2009 22:40:48 GMT -4
"Catzilla" was a nice touch. It really gives the feel that this is unsupervised, that the guests are left to their own devices. Between it and the child, I'm gathering that Claire needs to be very polite to any giant she encounters.
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Post by tjgalon on Jan 14, 2009 2:39:09 GMT -4
that great, keep up this excellent work
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Post by LOD on Jan 18, 2009 12:56:13 GMT -4
Thanks everyone for your support!! How do you like the crawlspace? Is it too much, because I have a few other major locations in mind down there.
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Post by illun on Jan 18, 2009 16:26:12 GMT -4
It's a cute idea, but aside from essentially being child-sized compared with her companion, the size interaction down there has fallen away. I was kind of hoping she'd shrink enough that she had to be carried to avoid getting stepped on, or that they'd encounter someone that much larger or smaller than themselves.
There's also a lack of concern. At first, she had an objective of finding missing persons, then she shrank and didn't know what was going on, but now it's just a cursory exploration that she's in no danger from.
It's only been since she got into the 'carnival' crawlspace, so it's fine if it's about to introduce some new concern or antagonist, or maybe a potential boyfriend she tries to impress. If it's going to remain just two acquaintances wandering around a carnival, though...
There's a huge amount of potential you've built into this, and it's well written so far, but I think from the fact that you've stopped writing and asked this, you sense the same thing I do, that it needs to have something to focus the story introduced very soon.
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Post by Lord Hugo Prosperio on Jan 18, 2009 17:03:56 GMT -4
I like the carnival concept (carnivals are a favorite theme of mine) so I am interested to see where you take it.
Also, feel free to uncensor your signature. you can say ass.
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Post by tjgalon on Jan 18, 2009 23:54:52 GMT -4
I think the sociality part is great. I just wish she be a little more helpless, lol
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Post by Lord Hugo Prosperio on Jan 21, 2009 23:53:59 GMT -4
in the immortal words of an internet meme..MOAR! this story is fantastic. I can't believe how awesome it is..and its taking place right under my nose.
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Post by tjgalon on Jan 22, 2009 22:40:35 GMT -4
by far the best chapter yet. The way you explain what Claire saw in the newest chapter from her ride in the last chapter, that was just brilliant. I want to ride that ride next, even though i am terrified of though kind. magic safety make me feel much better. I wonder if the lod is seem every ride or it was a bonus
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Post by LOD on Jan 23, 2009 0:15:42 GMT -4
Thank you! I'm glad that you think that it's getting better. One thing that I've been trying to strive for is polishing out my skills.
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Post by tjgalon on Jan 24, 2009 2:06:18 GMT -4
great more games where i would lose, lol. nice update can't wait to see where it leads
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Post by LOD on Jan 24, 2009 22:51:43 GMT -4
great more games where i would lose, lol. nice update can't wait to see where it leads You might not want to lose at these, or you'll end up going through the roof!
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